In the days leading up to my 40th birthday, I find it difficult not to look back and realize all the things I have not done - serious and basic life choices that may not come this way. In juxtaposition to this I am on my continual fight to flatten my stomach.
Unfortunately one issue might have something to do with the other. Due to my age, the skin does not rebound quite as quickly as it would have, say, 10 years ago. There's hardly any weight to lose only skin to tighten. But what then? Does that make me prettier or smarter? Will I have that "look at me" quality that I never had at any time in my earlier life but always wanted? I know what you are about to say. It's all about attitude. It's about how you see yourself. I never realized I really needed to be thin in order to feel good about myself. Had I known I would have shedded the 90+ lbs years ago, because-and make no mistake about this-it does matter. We are perceived by our appearance and in my case it is how I perceived myself as well. And we are also perceived by our attitude and losing weight improves our attitude.
I suppose you could say this particular post is a moment of weakness, a pity party for all those things that just never came my way. But who is to say it's still not possible? "What is meant for you will not get past you." I hope I am meant for great things. Looking back on the past 18 months, I know I am capable of them. We all are. And as a friend said recently, "you have to believe it, to see it."
