Feeling your pulse and where to go from here...

It's so very difficult to get comfortable in your own skin. I have never in my entire life felt at ease in mine. It's the whole idea of having little conception of how far you have come.

My epiphany came when I spoke to a co-worker about clothing. I don't consider myself thin. I have never been thin in my adult life, so why would I ever think that would change? In any case, my co-worker asked me what size my pants were. I told her they were a size 4 (Eddie Bauer & Loft pants run fairly large). She answered that she was wearing a size 4. "But you're really thin!" I told her. She replied, "well, duh, so are you." That was the moment I realized how far I had come. I looked at my co-worker and said to myself, "wow, I really look like that?" I've been looking at myself in a different way ever since.

That doesn't even get into the whole physiological side of things. I'm just faster, my arms and legs are thinner, I'm less tired, I can actually feel my pulse because there's no adipose tissue to get in the way.

But the question is, where do I go from here? I have actually dropped another pants size. In some stores I am now a 2. I've been told from many fronts to stop losing weight - "that's enough! No more."

So what's the answer? More pilates? Flattening out this belly sounds like the ongoing order of business. Where do you go once you reached the mountain top? It's a tricky question...Life is all about finding that next project and the next destination...

the cakewalk

So much has happened since I last ran this race (*see March 26, 2010 posting) - 50 lbs and several hundred miles are only a few of them. I'm a wee bit nervous, can't get to sleep and I am therefore logging in to release some of this energy. The almond macaroons I just ate are probably not helping the situation.

In the meantime...let me give you my running playlist for tomorrow. The last time I ran this race, it was in 43:46. i hope this will insure that tomorrow will indeed be a half hour cakewalk...

1. Listen to the Music - The Doobie Brothers - something to get started - a lesson to everybody - you have to listen to the
music.
2. Original of the Species - U2 - the sentiment is what gets you going with this song
3. Solitary Man - Neil Diamond - I discovered this song about 10 years ago by the newly inducted Hall of Famer
4. Gone (New Mix) - U2 - something that gets my arse moving - Goodbye, you can keep this suit of lights...I'm not coming
down...
5.Just Dance - Lady Gaga - Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle, Don't slow! Drive it, clean it, lights out, bleed it
Spend the lasto, In your pocko - there it is...in those lyrics
6. Alejandro - Lady Gaga - Another good one to get the blood pumpin'
7. Hold On - KT Tunstall - this a great pacer song- Hold on to what you've been given lately...
8. Never Forget You - Noisettes - Great beat for a run
9. Raise Your Glass - P!nk - an awesome feel good song, another one to get the butt in gear. WE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT LOUD AND NITTY GRITTY DIRTY LITTLE FREAKS - I suppose there's the sentiment right there...