It's been a while, I know. Sandy did alot more than jack with my running route. The people in my neighborhood are dusting themselves off as best as they can in their individual situations. Leggetts Sand Bar was just that, shoveling out sand from the bar- all that beer, wasted...The Turkey Trot was naturally cancelled. You can't run through 3 foot sand drifts.
Things are coming around. The skunks are back. It might sound silly but I find it to be a good sign of things getting back to normal. Here's hoping I don't get sprayed.
I might be crazy. I may well and truly damage myself irreparably. They may have to euthanize me like they do the horses... On December 26th I ponied up the $108 and registered for the Full New Jersey Marathon. 26.2 miles, 17 weeks from yesterday.
As if that weren't enough, 4.8 miles felt like 10. I stopped smoking, obviously. Yes I was a smoking runner and you can take that statement both ways. The wonky knee continues. The hips and back are a hot mess but...
If I don't try this I will always wonder and there is nothing so hideous as regret. And there is always Advil as well as hip and knee replacement. It's called the bright side. 1 mile a week will bring me up to 22 miles. If I can get up to that, I'll be OK. That's all I want, just this once. Hell, 16 miles would be an accomplishment but we'll see if I can't make it for the big 26. Scared? You bet...Stay tuned...
Monday, January 7, 2013
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Turkey Advantage
I've decided to take full advantage of my proximity
to the Turkey Trot which takes place Nov. 17. My intention is to know every dip
in the road and every pot hole (and there are many in this water-based town).
The route basically ends yards from my doorstep. Ten years ago, the last leg
would go past my house.
As you can see, quite a bit of
the route is by water, whether it be the inlet, creek or lake. The problem is
at 5:30am it is very difficult to appreciate it in the pitch blackness.
I'm getting a little bored. I
hate to admit it since my father says a bored person is a boring person. I have
time so I can micromanage this run and perhaps cut a a few seconds off my time. As
you can tell I have lots of time on my hands. Some day I'll get a life or a
life will get me.
I've been up and down with my
running progress. I've been accused of slacking off which is probably accurate.
5 miles was really tough yesterday and left me achy in the legs. I think
this is what they mean by hitting the wall. The tubby tummy is coming back. I
have to remember where I came from and that this is what separates the men from
the boys - maintaining. Taking it off is actually quite easy; as you see
progress you develop momentum. Keeping it off is hellish but I have an
advantage. I've been down this road once before and I refuse to go down it
again, my dad's craving for tirimisu be damned.
So I will look at this map and
try to run the course at least twice a week and skirt in and out of it the rest
of the time. Most importantly, I will not let the turkeys get me down.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
The Runner-up
This post has hardly anything to do with running. Well, that's probably untrue - in my life everything has to do with running. The more I improve my body, the more my mind improves and that's enough for me. It is something I can hold onto when all else fails. And these fall mornings are gorgeous for pounding the pavement.
This fall I am getting that promising feeling as if something is going to change for me in a big way. It's been a fun summer without any casualties, to my shocked relief. I am cautiously optimistic which is something I haven't truly felt since I began this blog in January 2010.
I have said it here before and I will say it again. I am not a competitive person by nature (Words with Friends notwithstanding). I don't have the aggressive component needed for coming in first. But almost three years ago I was in a situation where I did come in as the runner-up, leaving me with an all consuming heartache that remains unmatched. I've gauged recent disappointments by this, saying, "are you half as heartbroken as you were then?" The answer is, inevitiably, "no." To which the reply is, "OK then, shut up and move on."
People say you can't run away from your problems but when the problem is not yours and you are still haunted by it, the best thing to do is to put your sneakers on and run.
This fall I am getting that promising feeling as if something is going to change for me in a big way. It's been a fun summer without any casualties, to my shocked relief. I am cautiously optimistic which is something I haven't truly felt since I began this blog in January 2010.
I have said it here before and I will say it again. I am not a competitive person by nature (Words with Friends notwithstanding). I don't have the aggressive component needed for coming in first. But almost three years ago I was in a situation where I did come in as the runner-up, leaving me with an all consuming heartache that remains unmatched. I've gauged recent disappointments by this, saying, "are you half as heartbroken as you were then?" The answer is, inevitiably, "no." To which the reply is, "OK then, shut up and move on."
People say you can't run away from your problems but when the problem is not yours and you are still haunted by it, the best thing to do is to put your sneakers on and run.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
After "happily ever after"
Nobody ever talks about what happens after "happily ever after." In films, it always ends with the couple kissing or a wedding ceremony or a fade to black with hopes of good things to come. Rarely do you see the inevitable roller coaster after that dramatic fadeout. What happens is, little by little, Cinderella gains a couple of kilos. Now the question is what is she going to do about it? She's gotta change things up a bit, obviously. Happiness comes with a price. You start to go out more, going to restaurants...AHA! There's the root of it. Now here's the question: is she going to compromise her personal happiness because of the strides she's made which have actually led her to this moment? That's a very firm "no." But let's face it: munching on an entire bag of mini rice cakes is no help in the matter.
The setback of a wounded knee does not exactly do any good either. Don't let people fool you: in exercising, there is hardly any greater high than running, if you can bring yourself to do it. Biking, not really. Walking, too time consuming (half the distance in twice the time - funny you only realize this when you start to run). Swimming, extremely inviting but as of yet, untried.
So the question keeps popping up in this and a few other aspects of my life: what are you going to do about it? What I'm going to do is make myself happy and stop being lazy. I'm going to get back to work in a week and cut out the crap. I'm going to bite another bullet and run the 10k Hill and Dale Run (yes, that is the actual name). It is the "Hill" part which frightens me. I've driven over part of the route but haven't had the nerve to try it with my sneakers. Flat road is one thing, hills are entirely different. One thing is for certain. I shall not be Cinderella at the end of the ball: one shoe on, hitching a ride back to the start line. Time to man up and put the rice cakes away. Why is it a constant battle?
P.S. If you want a look at what happens after the whole "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy marries girl" routine, watch the Audrey Hepburn movie "Two for the Road." After happily ever after, with a side of vitriol.
The setback of a wounded knee does not exactly do any good either. Don't let people fool you: in exercising, there is hardly any greater high than running, if you can bring yourself to do it. Biking, not really. Walking, too time consuming (half the distance in twice the time - funny you only realize this when you start to run). Swimming, extremely inviting but as of yet, untried.
So the question keeps popping up in this and a few other aspects of my life: what are you going to do about it? What I'm going to do is make myself happy and stop being lazy. I'm going to get back to work in a week and cut out the crap. I'm going to bite another bullet and run the 10k Hill and Dale Run (yes, that is the actual name). It is the "Hill" part which frightens me. I've driven over part of the route but haven't had the nerve to try it with my sneakers. Flat road is one thing, hills are entirely different. One thing is for certain. I shall not be Cinderella at the end of the ball: one shoe on, hitching a ride back to the start line. Time to man up and put the rice cakes away. Why is it a constant battle?
P.S. If you want a look at what happens after the whole "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy marries girl" routine, watch the Audrey Hepburn movie "Two for the Road." After happily ever after, with a side of vitriol.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Half Marathon
"Wow! This is worse than the Garden State Parkway in the summertime."
- a man at the start of the Long Branch Half Marathon
The most hilarious thing about it was the designated start areas being referred to as "corrals," like we were a bunch of cows. I think that speaks for itself. There were pacers at every 30 seconds, runners with flags telling you that you are running at 10:00 per mile. You don't realize how emotionally comforting it is until that 8th mile when you realize you are still doing alright even though it doesn't feel that way. And forget about the bathroom thing. You keep thinking the next port -a- potty is going to be your last, especially when the pounding on the pavement takes its terrible toll on your bladder.
In the 11th mile, my left knee gave out on me. Ironically, it was the right one which worried me the previous evening. One of the marathon officials came up to me and asked me if I was ok. I told her my issue and that I was going to walk a bit. She said I gave her the chance to actually do her job and informed me there were only 2 turns left before the finish line and the rest of the route is along the water. I walked for 2 blocks and then was able to slowly jog across the finish line. Needless to say I was one of many limping to my car. In fact I thought I was going to fall over in the Monmouth Racetrack parking lot as my left leg seized up with no one to pick me up.
If anyone has looked at my former posts they know that I was never the girl most likely to do this. 13.1 miles. That's alot of "putting one foot in front of the other". I don't know whether it was luck. The conditions were perfect: 45 degrees, completely overcast. My head was clear of everything, good or bad. Maybe that was it - keeping a clear head.
There is only one important thing I need to remember from my Half Marathon experience. If I can do that, what can't I do? Well, let's find out.
Incidently, 13.1 miles in 2:32 chip time., 95 lbs, 8 skirt sizes. There's nothing you can't do.
- a man at the start of the Long Branch Half Marathon
The most hilarious thing about it was the designated start areas being referred to as "corrals," like we were a bunch of cows. I think that speaks for itself. There were pacers at every 30 seconds, runners with flags telling you that you are running at 10:00 per mile. You don't realize how emotionally comforting it is until that 8th mile when you realize you are still doing alright even though it doesn't feel that way. And forget about the bathroom thing. You keep thinking the next port -a- potty is going to be your last, especially when the pounding on the pavement takes its terrible toll on your bladder.
In the 11th mile, my left knee gave out on me. Ironically, it was the right one which worried me the previous evening. One of the marathon officials came up to me and asked me if I was ok. I told her my issue and that I was going to walk a bit. She said I gave her the chance to actually do her job and informed me there were only 2 turns left before the finish line and the rest of the route is along the water. I walked for 2 blocks and then was able to slowly jog across the finish line. Needless to say I was one of many limping to my car. In fact I thought I was going to fall over in the Monmouth Racetrack parking lot as my left leg seized up with no one to pick me up.
If anyone has looked at my former posts they know that I was never the girl most likely to do this. 13.1 miles. That's alot of "putting one foot in front of the other". I don't know whether it was luck. The conditions were perfect: 45 degrees, completely overcast. My head was clear of everything, good or bad. Maybe that was it - keeping a clear head.
There is only one important thing I need to remember from my Half Marathon experience. If I can do that, what can't I do? Well, let's find out.
Incidently, 13.1 miles in 2:32 chip time., 95 lbs, 8 skirt sizes. There's nothing you can't do.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Lucky 13
So it's the night before. I'm nervous. Am I prepared? As in grade school, the answer is, if the conditions are good and luck shines on me, perhaps. Have I prepared enough? No. I've run as far as 8.5 miles. It's not 13 but I expect it will be enough to get me through. I will desperately be looking for that 2nd wind. But one way or another I will finish because for me, finishing this race would be special and I really and truly need something special right now. I don't know how special it makes me - I am one of at least 15,000, not to mention the nutters doing the full 26.2.
Since I have to be up at about [insert deep breath] 4:30 am, I am getting myself together ahead of time: putting my 2 1/2 hrs worth of tunes together, shorts, shirt. Travel light. Ipod and car keys and that's it. Unfortunately there will be no one at the other end to cheer me on or hand me a sweatshirt but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Sometimes you're on your own. No baggage, travel light.
But more important than any of that is the question why run a 1/2 marathon? In order to answer that I will leave you with a quote from a real underdog movie:
"'Cause all I want to do is go the distance... and If I can go that distance, you see, if that bell rings
and I'm still standing, I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, you see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood..."
from the motion picture "Rocky"
Since I have to be up at about [insert deep breath] 4:30 am, I am getting myself together ahead of time: putting my 2 1/2 hrs worth of tunes together, shorts, shirt. Travel light. Ipod and car keys and that's it. Unfortunately there will be no one at the other end to cheer me on or hand me a sweatshirt but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Sometimes you're on your own. No baggage, travel light.
But more important than any of that is the question why run a 1/2 marathon? In order to answer that I will leave you with a quote from a real underdog movie:
"'Cause all I want to do is go the distance... and If I can go that distance, you see, if that bell rings
and I'm still standing, I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, you see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood..."
from the motion picture "Rocky"
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Listen to the Music
Need the tunes baby! Kicks up the natural rhythm. - my freshman sister
You can talk about speed and rhythm in running, but what's really important is the music. That's not to say it can't be done without it. It takes all the discipline you can muster and I am proud to say I eked out 3 miles of discipline last week. I doubt you'll see that happen again. Well, let me digress even further.
Music means different things to different people. For some, it's the rewind button on life, bringing back memories of experiences, good and bad. For others it's music, entertainment; neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. For some it evokes such an emotional response filled with empathy as to render the listener practically breathless. Alright, can you tell I feel very strongly about music? Music and movies, but we won't go there.
So, flashbacks aside, music does motivate you. It helps you, to use the vernacular, "move that ass." The trick is to pick songs that help you move and in that, timing is everything.
So rather than getting all reminiscent, musing about the past, let's talk playlists. The Fool's Run is next Saturday, so I need 35 minutes of top notch music to get my ass moving. Let's take a look at the old Nano playlists, shall we? Oh wow...as I look at this, I realize I have some bizarre and, shall we say, eclectic playlists...
Don't you feel it growing, day by day
People getting ready for the news
Some are happy, some are sad
Whoa, gotta let the music play...
-Doobie Brothers
1. Beethoven's symphony # 7 (from the soundtrack "The King's Speech") - as it happens, this starts off slow and keeps building up and up so that by the end of it when you are really hauling some ass, you've slowly been warmed up and you haven't even realized it. What can I say, it works for me.
2. I'm Gonna Live til i Die/Frank Sinatra - the sentiment and the tempo is there.
3. Oh Happy Day/The Edwin Hawkins Singers - this crossover spiritual does it for me every time. You can definitely see my peaks and valleys during this song. Every refrain my speed jumps.
4. It's Amazing/Jem - More for the positive sentiment than the tempo. Good thoughts.
5. The Ballad of John and Yoko/Beatles - again speed. "the way things are goin' they're gonna crucify me"
6. Empire State of Mind/ Jay-z w/Alicia Keyes - any New York song is bound to make you feel good or is that just me goin' back to my roots? "the City that never sleeps better slip you an ambien"
7. La Grange/ZZ Top - Nothing gets me moving like the guitar in this song.
8 Going the DIstance (from the motion picture soundtrack "Rocky") - don't ask me why, but a few weeks ago, at the end of 7 miles, this song came on and so help me, I grew wings. I can't explain it. Who knows if I'll get that back but it worked then, so it can work again.
You can talk about speed and rhythm in running, but what's really important is the music. That's not to say it can't be done without it. It takes all the discipline you can muster and I am proud to say I eked out 3 miles of discipline last week. I doubt you'll see that happen again. Well, let me digress even further.
Music means different things to different people. For some, it's the rewind button on life, bringing back memories of experiences, good and bad. For others it's music, entertainment; neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. For some it evokes such an emotional response filled with empathy as to render the listener practically breathless. Alright, can you tell I feel very strongly about music? Music and movies, but we won't go there.
So, flashbacks aside, music does motivate you. It helps you, to use the vernacular, "move that ass." The trick is to pick songs that help you move and in that, timing is everything.
So rather than getting all reminiscent, musing about the past, let's talk playlists. The Fool's Run is next Saturday, so I need 35 minutes of top notch music to get my ass moving. Let's take a look at the old Nano playlists, shall we? Oh wow...as I look at this, I realize I have some bizarre and, shall we say, eclectic playlists...
Don't you feel it growing, day by day
People getting ready for the news
Some are happy, some are sad
Whoa, gotta let the music play...
-Doobie Brothers
1. Beethoven's symphony # 7 (from the soundtrack "The King's Speech") - as it happens, this starts off slow and keeps building up and up so that by the end of it when you are really hauling some ass, you've slowly been warmed up and you haven't even realized it. What can I say, it works for me.
2. I'm Gonna Live til i Die/Frank Sinatra - the sentiment and the tempo is there.
3. Oh Happy Day/The Edwin Hawkins Singers - this crossover spiritual does it for me every time. You can definitely see my peaks and valleys during this song. Every refrain my speed jumps.
4. It's Amazing/Jem - More for the positive sentiment than the tempo. Good thoughts.
5. The Ballad of John and Yoko/Beatles - again speed. "the way things are goin' they're gonna crucify me"
6. Empire State of Mind/ Jay-z w/Alicia Keyes - any New York song is bound to make you feel good or is that just me goin' back to my roots? "the City that never sleeps better slip you an ambien"
7. La Grange/ZZ Top - Nothing gets me moving like the guitar in this song.
8 Going the DIstance (from the motion picture soundtrack "Rocky") - don't ask me why, but a few weeks ago, at the end of 7 miles, this song came on and so help me, I grew wings. I can't explain it. Who knows if I'll get that back but it worked then, so it can work again.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Point of No Return
"Ah, well you're screwed now. You paid your money. Now you've gotta run it, you nut."
- my best friend about 4 hours ago
Yep. I just paid out what to me is a small fortune to run in the Long Branch Half Marathon. I'm not sure what hurts more: the $95 fee, the 6:50am start time or my legs after the 6 miles today.
I'm starting to realize that I am running out of time to work my way up to that grueling 13 mile mark. I have to admit 6 wasn't too bad, not at the time. Now that the day is over and I've stopped moving, I've gotten a little wobbly.
There are moments when I say, "What was I thinking?' Even my father commented, "13 miles...do you think you really should?" I do. I really think I should. We all have something we need to prove and this is the only way I can think of to prove that I can accomplish great things until I write the great American novel. We all have something lacking in our lives and I think this is my way of trying to fill that void.
Maybe I am crazy, maybe I will blow my knees out, or maybe I should take my car and drive the 13.1 miles.
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn
We've passed the point of no return...
-The Phantom of the Opera
- my best friend about 4 hours ago
Yep. I just paid out what to me is a small fortune to run in the Long Branch Half Marathon. I'm not sure what hurts more: the $95 fee, the 6:50am start time or my legs after the 6 miles today.
I'm starting to realize that I am running out of time to work my way up to that grueling 13 mile mark. I have to admit 6 wasn't too bad, not at the time. Now that the day is over and I've stopped moving, I've gotten a little wobbly.
There are moments when I say, "What was I thinking?' Even my father commented, "13 miles...do you think you really should?" I do. I really think I should. We all have something we need to prove and this is the only way I can think of to prove that I can accomplish great things until I write the great American novel. We all have something lacking in our lives and I think this is my way of trying to fill that void.
Maybe I am crazy, maybe I will blow my knees out, or maybe I should take my car and drive the 13.1 miles.
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn
We've passed the point of no return...
-The Phantom of the Opera
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Something's Gotta Give
STRETCH! I've received this advice from everyone - teachers, friends, would-be lovers. I know it's all kindly meant but I never can seem to find the time. I've been told 10 minutes for every mile you run. 40 minutes is not a feasible option. 25 is pushing it. If I get in 10 minutes overall, I'm doing well.
And so, as ever, karma is a bitch - I popped my knee 2 weeks ago at the start of my run to Sea Girt. (Warning: Endorphins are very dangerous, natural pain killers. Sometimes you don't realize you have a problem until it's all over.) As a result I'm a little behind in my mileage build up. 13 miles in 3 months. Current mileage: 4-5
So what do you do when you fall down? You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over again. 4 days a week instead of 7 days. 5 mph instead of 6. 4 miles a day instead of 6.
Let me tell you, and anyone who knows me can say this: determination has never been one of my strong suits. I go the way the wind blows and the prevailing wind happens to be from Long Branch, NJ this upcoming May. And if something's gotta give, this time it will be my knees before it's me.
When an irresistible force such as you
Meets an old immovable object like me
You can bet just as sure as you live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
- from the motion picture "Daddy Long Legs"
And so, as ever, karma is a bitch - I popped my knee 2 weeks ago at the start of my run to Sea Girt. (Warning: Endorphins are very dangerous, natural pain killers. Sometimes you don't realize you have a problem until it's all over.) As a result I'm a little behind in my mileage build up. 13 miles in 3 months. Current mileage: 4-5
So what do you do when you fall down? You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over again. 4 days a week instead of 7 days. 5 mph instead of 6. 4 miles a day instead of 6.
Let me tell you, and anyone who knows me can say this: determination has never been one of my strong suits. I go the way the wind blows and the prevailing wind happens to be from Long Branch, NJ this upcoming May. And if something's gotta give, this time it will be my knees before it's me.
When an irresistible force such as you
Meets an old immovable object like me
You can bet just as sure as you live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
- from the motion picture "Daddy Long Legs"
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Twinkie Defense
I was just reminded of the Hostess' chapter 11 announcement so I had to weigh in, naturally and no pun intended. I'll tell you a little story.
A 12 yr old girl lived in a neighborhood in one of the boroughs of New York City. It was the kind of area that had a small town quality to it. Most everyone knew everyone else. The girl played on porches and the front stoops of apartment buildings. She shopped on the long strip of stores that started at the top of a hill and went all the way down to a park where, in the snow, she would bring her red Flexible Flyer sled to whoosh down one of the sweetest little slopes she had ever experienced.
Everyday she would walk out of school with her friend, past the church down the street to the apartment building with the white columns that faced the rectory of the church. She would use her latch key, go inside, drop her books in the empty apartment and promptly turn around to go to the corner candy store called Optimo, named for the sign brandishing the make of cigar sold in the shop. There she would buy 2 packages of Twinkies, 3 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, a Whatchamacallit bar and a pint of chocolate milk each and every weekday afternoon. She would proceed back to her house where she would eat her newly purchased stash along with a mayonaise sandwich while watching General Hospital and The Edge of Night. The outside world was not being particularly kind to her so she took her comfort in enormous quantities of junk food.
Through no fault of her family, this went on for years. Her parents were working hard. There was no one to tell her to stop or talk to her about it and so it went on, chocolate milk and and Twinkies...
In Providence, Rhode Island, the girl began to understand the benefits of a good walk in between Chipwich ice cream sandwiches. In Chiyoda, Japan, she understood the benefits of a good mountain climb. In London England she understood the benefits of a good run whilst looking the "wrong" way to cross the street. She still had a weakness for hazlenut chocolate and chocolate milk.
She came very close to climbing the weight loss mountain but fell off just as she was coming to the peak. It took 10 years for her to dig herself out of that hole.
Now here's the upshot. As this girl continues to peak (and she has not peaked yet), Hostess, the company which houses Twinkies, is on a rather dramatic financial spiral. They were in trouble the moment they lost their biggest and most consistent customer.
A 12 yr old girl lived in a neighborhood in one of the boroughs of New York City. It was the kind of area that had a small town quality to it. Most everyone knew everyone else. The girl played on porches and the front stoops of apartment buildings. She shopped on the long strip of stores that started at the top of a hill and went all the way down to a park where, in the snow, she would bring her red Flexible Flyer sled to whoosh down one of the sweetest little slopes she had ever experienced.
Everyday she would walk out of school with her friend, past the church down the street to the apartment building with the white columns that faced the rectory of the church. She would use her latch key, go inside, drop her books in the empty apartment and promptly turn around to go to the corner candy store called Optimo, named for the sign brandishing the make of cigar sold in the shop. There she would buy 2 packages of Twinkies, 3 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, a Whatchamacallit bar and a pint of chocolate milk each and every weekday afternoon. She would proceed back to her house where she would eat her newly purchased stash along with a mayonaise sandwich while watching General Hospital and The Edge of Night. The outside world was not being particularly kind to her so she took her comfort in enormous quantities of junk food.
Through no fault of her family, this went on for years. Her parents were working hard. There was no one to tell her to stop or talk to her about it and so it went on, chocolate milk and and Twinkies...
In Providence, Rhode Island, the girl began to understand the benefits of a good walk in between Chipwich ice cream sandwiches. In Chiyoda, Japan, she understood the benefits of a good mountain climb. In London England she understood the benefits of a good run whilst looking the "wrong" way to cross the street. She still had a weakness for hazlenut chocolate and chocolate milk.
She came very close to climbing the weight loss mountain but fell off just as she was coming to the peak. It took 10 years for her to dig herself out of that hole.
Now here's the upshot. As this girl continues to peak (and she has not peaked yet), Hostess, the company which houses Twinkies, is on a rather dramatic financial spiral. They were in trouble the moment they lost their biggest and most consistent customer.
"Dan White's lawyers argued that his diet of junk food led to a chemical imbalance which led to the killings [of Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone]. The press coined it "The Twinkie Defense."
from the motion picture "Milk"
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Not all who Wander are Lost
"You went all the way to Kyoto, Beaumont, and London but you found yourself on a Manasquan boardwalk."- my best friend on a recent birthday cardIt's true. I've been to a few places, always with the motivation to find...something - happiness, peace of mind, contentment. It's a difficult prospect especially when it's a wild goose chase. You won't find any of it elsewhere until you find it within yourself. I know it's so cliched but it's true - you can never escape what's going on in your own head.
Losing what amounts to the weight of an average 12 year old is of course helpful. I have to admit. I love shocking people who haven't seen me in a few years. The reaction is priceless and the result is very easy on the fragile ego. But here's my point: there's got to be something more. And until I find it I'm gonna try going to the next crazy place without really going that far.
BANG! What you just heard was me throwing down the gauntlet. Ok it's after midnight on Sunday January 8, 2012. As of this moment I am in training for the New Jersey Half Marathon which takes place on Sunday, May 6, 2012. If my meager technological skills permit, I will log my mileage here. We'll see. I think I can do it on Nike.com. In the meantime I will, to use the expression from Led Zepplin, ramble on.
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king." - J. R. R. Tolkien
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Silly Season
Alot of people have problems, especially during the silly season. - Lethal Weapon
There's alot of things to be thankful for during this silly season. There should be no looking on the other side of the fence for greener grass. However, if anyone ever says to you, Why can't you do that? or How did she lose all that weight? Keep in mind that at this point in time, there is nothing else. There is no family of my own to take care of. There are no children to wake up and get to school. There is no husband or other half to spend time with. It is me, my body and I. I can take an hour to myself every morning. I can take pilates classes a few times each week. I have absolutely no excuse why I can't stay this way unless I slip into a deep depression whilst sitting in front of the TV with a bag of miniature Reeses Peanut butter cups as I used to in my adolescent years. So if anyone asks you, "hey what about you?", warn them not to go there.
Today was a mirror of those times - the jumbo bag of Skittles and a large bar of Kit Kats in the movie theater. But now I pick myself up and dust myself off and remember to be a little more mindful. What I have to remember, even as I have to fight back tears, is that my grass may not be greener but at least it is my grass. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
There's alot of things to be thankful for during this silly season. There should be no looking on the other side of the fence for greener grass. However, if anyone ever says to you, Why can't you do that? or How did she lose all that weight? Keep in mind that at this point in time, there is nothing else. There is no family of my own to take care of. There are no children to wake up and get to school. There is no husband or other half to spend time with. It is me, my body and I. I can take an hour to myself every morning. I can take pilates classes a few times each week. I have absolutely no excuse why I can't stay this way unless I slip into a deep depression whilst sitting in front of the TV with a bag of miniature Reeses Peanut butter cups as I used to in my adolescent years. So if anyone asks you, "hey what about you?", warn them not to go there.
Today was a mirror of those times - the jumbo bag of Skittles and a large bar of Kit Kats in the movie theater. But now I pick myself up and dust myself off and remember to be a little more mindful. What I have to remember, even as I have to fight back tears, is that my grass may not be greener but at least it is my grass. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Compare and Contrast
When I get blue, which is happening a bit more often lately, I try to take stock of what I have accomplished. The list of things I have not accomplished would fill Yankee Stadium but there are simple things that have yet to come into my grasp and it makes me doubt myself in such a way as to undermine my motivation. So because of this - and call it what you will, ego trip, a crowing spree, I don't care - I am making the comparison of what I was and what I have become.
A co-worker recently told me that the before picture does not even look like a distant relative, let alone my former self. What's interesting about the photo is that you can see the lost, frightened look in that girl's eyes. The after photo is the countenance of a girl who is not necessarily frightened but who no longer gives a hoot what people think and to no longer give a hoot takes confidence.
Again, maybe a sort of midlife crisis has brought me to this point where I am entering my second childhood. To commemorate my 40th birthday I went out to Brooklyn, NY and treated myself to a tattoo on my back. This was not a rash decision but one I thought over 10 years ago when I was only half as thin as I am now. But now I have a back worthy of some artwork and I hope the artwork is part of my motivation to keep my body this way. It's my focus right now until some of those simple things I have missed out on come along. Until then, whenever I am in doubt or gloomy or feel as if I'm "stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it" I will look at my old driver's license and say, "I am better than that and I deserve whatever my heart desires." I just have to learn to say it without crying. As with everything, a work in progress...
And if your way should falter along this stony pass, it's just a moment. This time will pass... - U2
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The change to Autumn
It's always been my most favorite time of the year. I get a hopeful feeling even as the leaves start to change and die. My favorite holiday, Halloween, is coming up. My sense of expectancy is heightened even as I remember not to expect much. Life is less heartbreaking that way.
As for change, I am trying to do so myself. I need to find a way to maintain my weight. Do I run less? Do I eat more? I would rather do neither but I am at the edge of that slippery slope called obsession. More than one person has noted that my ribs might be a bit too prominent. Perhaps I'll be a skeleton for Halloween.
There have been lots of changes in the past few years - a new teaching career and a new slim body. There's only one thing that's missing - a new life. Perhaps it's just around the corner or in the October pumpkin patch. I try hard to keep in mind that there is more to life than changing your body but for right now it's enough and, wow, it's amazing how it changes when you try hard enough.
And for the record, 95 lbs. What a change a year and a half makes!
As for change, I am trying to do so myself. I need to find a way to maintain my weight. Do I run less? Do I eat more? I would rather do neither but I am at the edge of that slippery slope called obsession. More than one person has noted that my ribs might be a bit too prominent. Perhaps I'll be a skeleton for Halloween.
There have been lots of changes in the past few years - a new teaching career and a new slim body. There's only one thing that's missing - a new life. Perhaps it's just around the corner or in the October pumpkin patch. I try hard to keep in mind that there is more to life than changing your body but for right now it's enough and, wow, it's amazing how it changes when you try hard enough.
And for the record, 95 lbs. What a change a year and a half makes!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Fight for the Flat Tummy vs. The Fight against the Midlife Crisis
In the days leading up to my 40th birthday, I find it difficult not to look back and realize all the things I have not done - serious and basic life choices that may not come this way. In juxtaposition to this I am on my continual fight to flatten my stomach.
Unfortunately one issue might have something to do with the other. Due to my age, the skin does not rebound quite as quickly as it would have, say, 10 years ago. There's hardly any weight to lose only skin to tighten. But what then? Does that make me prettier or smarter? Will I have that "look at me" quality that I never had at any time in my earlier life but always wanted? I know what you are about to say. It's all about attitude. It's about how you see yourself. I never realized I really needed to be thin in order to feel good about myself. Had I known I would have shedded the 90+ lbs years ago, because-and make no mistake about this-it does matter. We are perceived by our appearance and in my case it is how I perceived myself as well. And we are also perceived by our attitude and losing weight improves our attitude.
I suppose you could say this particular post is a moment of weakness, a pity party for all those things that just never came my way. But who is to say it's still not possible? "What is meant for you will not get past you." I hope I am meant for great things. Looking back on the past 18 months, I know I am capable of them. We all are. And as a friend said recently, "you have to believe it, to see it."
Unfortunately one issue might have something to do with the other. Due to my age, the skin does not rebound quite as quickly as it would have, say, 10 years ago. There's hardly any weight to lose only skin to tighten. But what then? Does that make me prettier or smarter? Will I have that "look at me" quality that I never had at any time in my earlier life but always wanted? I know what you are about to say. It's all about attitude. It's about how you see yourself. I never realized I really needed to be thin in order to feel good about myself. Had I known I would have shedded the 90+ lbs years ago, because-and make no mistake about this-it does matter. We are perceived by our appearance and in my case it is how I perceived myself as well. And we are also perceived by our attitude and losing weight improves our attitude.
I suppose you could say this particular post is a moment of weakness, a pity party for all those things that just never came my way. But who is to say it's still not possible? "What is meant for you will not get past you." I hope I am meant for great things. Looking back on the past 18 months, I know I am capable of them. We all are. And as a friend said recently, "you have to believe it, to see it."
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Belmar 5
May and June got past me without so much as a "hello" and "goodbye". Now all of a sudden I have my first summer race. I was extremely disappointed to be shut out of the Spring Lake 5 in May but those things happen. The Belmar 5 is tomorrow - a circuitous 5 mile route including 2 miles of beachfront.
I'm hoping the weather stays wet instead of reverting back to the hazy hot and humid disaster that was today. Tomorrow the weather will dictate whether I will be sliding into that 5th mile easily or with stones in my sneakers. But once again, the only one I will ever compete with is myself. Stepping across the finish line and not falling face first in the gutter is a sure sign of victory for me.
It's amazing how, as long as you keep moving, things start to fall into place and suddenly you are not the same person you were 18 months ago. A regular on the boardwalk was riding her bike with the former mayor of our town and as we passed she said to him, "You see that girl. She is half the size she was a year ago." Funny stories like that pop up all the time. People don't recognize me. Now the plan is to enjoy what I have achieved and have fun maintaining it. Examples: more road races, more pilates classes where my instructor makes me laugh while I suck in my tummy - the true test of concentration and discipline.
As for music tomorrow, I am relying on my little pink shuffle to get me through the 50 some odd minutes with random tunes....and the beat goes on....
Just as a matter of record the numbers are 90 lbs and 7 pant sizes. And this coming from one of the most lazy women you are ever likely to meet who would never have thought she could make it this far. To quote "Fried Green Tomatoes", "Don't say 'never' to me."
I'm hoping the weather stays wet instead of reverting back to the hazy hot and humid disaster that was today. Tomorrow the weather will dictate whether I will be sliding into that 5th mile easily or with stones in my sneakers. But once again, the only one I will ever compete with is myself. Stepping across the finish line and not falling face first in the gutter is a sure sign of victory for me.
It's amazing how, as long as you keep moving, things start to fall into place and suddenly you are not the same person you were 18 months ago. A regular on the boardwalk was riding her bike with the former mayor of our town and as we passed she said to him, "You see that girl. She is half the size she was a year ago." Funny stories like that pop up all the time. People don't recognize me. Now the plan is to enjoy what I have achieved and have fun maintaining it. Examples: more road races, more pilates classes where my instructor makes me laugh while I suck in my tummy - the true test of concentration and discipline.
As for music tomorrow, I am relying on my little pink shuffle to get me through the 50 some odd minutes with random tunes....and the beat goes on....
Just as a matter of record the numbers are 90 lbs and 7 pant sizes. And this coming from one of the most lazy women you are ever likely to meet who would never have thought she could make it this far. To quote "Fried Green Tomatoes", "Don't say 'never' to me."
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Feeling your pulse and where to go from here...
It's so very difficult to get comfortable in your own skin. I have never in my entire life felt at ease in mine. It's the whole idea of having little conception of how far you have come.
My epiphany came when I spoke to a co-worker about clothing. I don't consider myself thin. I have never been thin in my adult life, so why would I ever think that would change? In any case, my co-worker asked me what size my pants were. I told her they were a size 4 (Eddie Bauer & Loft pants run fairly large). She answered that she was wearing a size 4. "But you're really thin!" I told her. She replied, "well, duh, so are you." That was the moment I realized how far I had come. I looked at my co-worker and said to myself, "wow, I really look like that?" I've been looking at myself in a different way ever since.
That doesn't even get into the whole physiological side of things. I'm just faster, my arms and legs are thinner, I'm less tired, I can actually feel my pulse because there's no adipose tissue to get in the way.
But the question is, where do I go from here? I have actually dropped another pants size. In some stores I am now a 2. I've been told from many fronts to stop losing weight - "that's enough! No more."
So what's the answer? More pilates? Flattening out this belly sounds like the ongoing order of business. Where do you go once you reached the mountain top? It's a tricky question...Life is all about finding that next project and the next destination...
My epiphany came when I spoke to a co-worker about clothing. I don't consider myself thin. I have never been thin in my adult life, so why would I ever think that would change? In any case, my co-worker asked me what size my pants were. I told her they were a size 4 (Eddie Bauer & Loft pants run fairly large). She answered that she was wearing a size 4. "But you're really thin!" I told her. She replied, "well, duh, so are you." That was the moment I realized how far I had come. I looked at my co-worker and said to myself, "wow, I really look like that?" I've been looking at myself in a different way ever since.
That doesn't even get into the whole physiological side of things. I'm just faster, my arms and legs are thinner, I'm less tired, I can actually feel my pulse because there's no adipose tissue to get in the way.
But the question is, where do I go from here? I have actually dropped another pants size. In some stores I am now a 2. I've been told from many fronts to stop losing weight - "that's enough! No more."
So what's the answer? More pilates? Flattening out this belly sounds like the ongoing order of business. Where do you go once you reached the mountain top? It's a tricky question...Life is all about finding that next project and the next destination...
Friday, April 1, 2011
the cakewalk
So much has happened since I last ran this race (*see March 26, 2010 posting) - 50 lbs and several hundred miles are only a few of them. I'm a wee bit nervous, can't get to sleep and I am therefore logging in to release some of this energy. The almond macaroons I just ate are probably not helping the situation.
In the meantime...let me give you my running playlist for tomorrow. The last time I ran this race, it was in 43:46. i hope this will insure that tomorrow will indeed be a half hour cakewalk...
1. Listen to the Music - The Doobie Brothers - something to get started - a lesson to everybody - you have to listen to the
music.
2. Original of the Species - U2 - the sentiment is what gets you going with this song
3. Solitary Man - Neil Diamond - I discovered this song about 10 years ago by the newly inducted Hall of Famer
4. Gone (New Mix) - U2 - something that gets my arse moving - Goodbye, you can keep this suit of lights...I'm not coming
down...
5.Just Dance - Lady Gaga - Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle, Don't slow! Drive it, clean it, lights out, bleed it
Spend the lasto, In your pocko - there it is...in those lyrics
6. Alejandro - Lady Gaga - Another good one to get the blood pumpin'
7. Hold On - KT Tunstall - this a great pacer song- Hold on to what you've been given lately...
8. Never Forget You - Noisettes - Great beat for a run
9. Raise Your Glass - P!nk - an awesome feel good song, another one to get the butt in gear. WE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT LOUD AND NITTY GRITTY DIRTY LITTLE FREAKS - I suppose there's the sentiment right there...
In the meantime...let me give you my running playlist for tomorrow. The last time I ran this race, it was in 43:46. i hope this will insure that tomorrow will indeed be a half hour cakewalk...
1. Listen to the Music - The Doobie Brothers - something to get started - a lesson to everybody - you have to listen to the
music.
2. Original of the Species - U2 - the sentiment is what gets you going with this song
3. Solitary Man - Neil Diamond - I discovered this song about 10 years ago by the newly inducted Hall of Famer
4. Gone (New Mix) - U2 - something that gets my arse moving - Goodbye, you can keep this suit of lights...I'm not coming
down...
5.Just Dance - Lady Gaga - Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle, Don't slow! Drive it, clean it, lights out, bleed it
Spend the lasto, In your pocko - there it is...in those lyrics
6. Alejandro - Lady Gaga - Another good one to get the blood pumpin'
7. Hold On - KT Tunstall - this a great pacer song- Hold on to what you've been given lately...
8. Never Forget You - Noisettes - Great beat for a run
9. Raise Your Glass - P!nk - an awesome feel good song, another one to get the butt in gear. WE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT LOUD AND NITTY GRITTY DIRTY LITTLE FREAKS - I suppose there's the sentiment right there...
Friday, March 25, 2011
The last of the belly rolls...
Belly rolls...it sounds too much like jelly rolls, doesn't it? Leave it to me to find the food angle. In any case, I am hearing such conflicting reports that my head is beginning to hurt. Between "that's enough now" and "well you still have a bit of pudge there" it really is hard to keep a focus on the reality of the situation. The answer came from a surprising source. This person said, "It's your body. You have to be happy with it. To hell with anyone else's opinion."
So am I happy with it? I am inches away from sheer joy. Do I care what people think? I'm quickly learning not to. However, a year ago my answer would have been quite different. I have therefore made a huge step in the right direction.
In order to rid myself of the last of the belly rolls, I am running to the next town again (5 miles). My pilates instructor is leaving my local gym - a sad setback but she is at the local studio. I will have to compensate somehow. Dare I actually practice my pilates at home? If I want that paisley bikini to fit the way I want, the answer must be "yes, I dare."
The road race season starts for me next weekend with the April Fool's 5k Run. I love being able to walk from my house to the starting line. Last year I did it in 42 minutes and change. This year, if I don't average a 10 minute mile I will be extremely grumpy. Stay tuned!
So am I happy with it? I am inches away from sheer joy. Do I care what people think? I'm quickly learning not to. However, a year ago my answer would have been quite different. I have therefore made a huge step in the right direction.
In order to rid myself of the last of the belly rolls, I am running to the next town again (5 miles). My pilates instructor is leaving my local gym - a sad setback but she is at the local studio. I will have to compensate somehow. Dare I actually practice my pilates at home? If I want that paisley bikini to fit the way I want, the answer must be "yes, I dare."
The road race season starts for me next weekend with the April Fool's 5k Run. I love being able to walk from my house to the starting line. Last year I did it in 42 minutes and change. This year, if I don't average a 10 minute mile I will be extremely grumpy. Stay tuned!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Hey Slim!
February just rolled right past me but that's not to say I didn't get things done. I'm into a size 4 skirt. It's interesting when you get into those last 10 or 15 lbs (which for me is all belly) because there's not much left to lose and the sizes drop faster.
In spite of the fact that people say, "OK you can stop now" There is no stopping and that's what a lot of people don't understand. I will try to be doing this until they carry me out feet first. It needs to be for life - temporary will not do.
Spring is starting to rear its sweet little head and on the off days when the temperature does break 45 I strip a few layers. There is an elderly man who is on the boardwalk everyday ahead of me at 6am for the past year. He has witnessed my transformation first hand. Last week he said, "I'm gonna have to start calling you 'Slim'"
I'm gonna try to run 4 miles tomorrow although the weather has been called for 25 degrees tomorrow morning. Time to step it up and get ready for the Fool's Run and the Spring Lake 5...Lots of good stuff going on - you should try it. Like i say, if I can do it, anyone can!
In spite of the fact that people say, "OK you can stop now" There is no stopping and that's what a lot of people don't understand. I will try to be doing this until they carry me out feet first. It needs to be for life - temporary will not do.
Spring is starting to rear its sweet little head and on the off days when the temperature does break 45 I strip a few layers. There is an elderly man who is on the boardwalk everyday ahead of me at 6am for the past year. He has witnessed my transformation first hand. Last week he said, "I'm gonna have to start calling you 'Slim'"
I'm gonna try to run 4 miles tomorrow although the weather has been called for 25 degrees tomorrow morning. Time to step it up and get ready for the Fool's Run and the Spring Lake 5...Lots of good stuff going on - you should try it. Like i say, if I can do it, anyone can!
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